The Versatile Blogger Award: My Turn

When the incomparable Tami Clayton tagged me for the game that spawned These Questions Three, she also nominated me for the Versatile Blogger Award.  As with the Liebster Blog Award, rules must be followed so that interdimensional beings do not awaken and devour our world:

  • Thank the person who nominated me.

Thanks, Tami!

  • Include a link to his/her blog.

The astute blog visitor will notice I already linked to her blog when I thanked her.  I’m efficient like that.  You should see my sock drawer–there are also pants in there.  If I need socks, chances are I probably need pants, too.

  • Nominate fifteen blogs I enjoy and follow.

This might be tough.  Although I follow and enjoy more than fifteen blogs, many of them have probably received this award already…

  1. Sheila Pierson
  2. Laird Sapir
  3. Lara Schiffbauer
  4. Elaine Smothers
  5. Emmie Mears
  6. Sara Walpert Foster
  7. Ellen Gregory
  8. Sonia G Medeiros
  9. Catherine Johnson
  10. Linda Adams
  11. Jennifer L Oliver
  12. Kirsten @ A Scenic Route
  13. Gloria Richard
  14. Rabia Gale
  15. Nikki McCormack

I wish I could nominate more than fifteen, but like a virulent zombie virus, this list should be sufficient to spread the love 🙂

  • Lastly, tell you seven things about myself.

This sort of thing probably isn’t what people come here for, but I’ll attempt to be both entertaining and fascinating 😉

1.  I used to work in the video game industry.  I’ve recently returned to my ancestral homeland so I can go back to school and start a new career.  The reason I haven’t updated my blog in a few weeks is because I was preparing for the move.

2.  Ozric Tentacles is responsible for my very favorite music.

3.  I keep pants in my sock drawer because my efficient nature demands it.  (Actually I’ve never done that, but now I suppose I have to, lest I become shamed before the entire Internet.)

4.  I decided I wanted to be a novelist when I was nine years old.  I wrote a lot until my early twenties, and I still have part of the last novel I attempted before giving up on writing.  Many years later, I rediscovered writing and by finishing a first draft of a novel, I’ve already achieved more than I was able to before.

5.  I had a turkey sandwich for lunch, with some TOSTITOS® ARTISAN RECIPES® Fire-Roasted Chipotle Flavored Tortilla Chips on the side.  These chips are like titans striding victorious across a battlefield strewn with the weeping wreckage of lesser chips.

6.  I have an irrational fear of bees, wasps, and other insectoid life-forms that fly and sting.

7.  I do not much care for broccoli, for reasons encapsulated in this haiku: I hate broccoli • and think it totally sucks • Why is it not meat?

If broccoli could fly and sting, I would probably fear it more than bees.

*     *     *

Are you inclined to tell us something about yourself?  Maybe you’d like to mention a blog you enjoy and follow?  You might even wish to vilify a hated vegetable in a haiku.  These possibilities, and many more, await below…

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51 thoughts on “The Versatile Blogger Award: My Turn

  1. Laird Sapir

    “These chips are like titans striding victorious across a battlefield strewn with the weeping wreckage of lesser chips”
    Reading this just made my week. Thank you, as ever, for the laugh.
    I am glad that your move went well, Mike!

    Reply
    1. Mike Schulenberg Post author

      I’m glad you enjoyed that part. But seriously, they’re pretty awesome chips 🙂

      And I guess technically I haven’t finished moving yet because most of my stuff was shipped separately and is going yo be slow in getting here. But clearing out my apartment and driving down here went pretty smooth.

      Reply
          1. Laird Sapir

            ummm…YEAH, you do. 🙂 There happen to be a number of friendly strays in my neighborhood (who, I may have mentioned, are fighting for the title of “top cat” and my house, is apparently, ground zero in the battle.) and I would be more than happy to trap one or three and send them your way.

          2. Mike Schulenberg Post author

            As tempting as that is, it’s a responsibility I’m unable to take on at present. Have you thought about forging them into a kitty army with which to take over the world?

          3. Laird Sapir

            In order for them to be an effective army, they are going to have to stop peeing under my house. When it hits 100+ degrees this summer that is going to be seriously problematic…

          4. Laird Sapir

            From the sounds of it, yes. Though, since most of their battles occur under my house and I can’t see them, I can only assume that is what they are doing.
            I definitely think I heard one of them yelling something about “Flavah” and a challenge to a “Beat Off.”….

  2. Julie Kenner (@juliekenner)

    thank you, thank you, thank you for protecting us from the inter-dimensional beings!!!! And, um, can a fear of nasty stinging things REALLY be irrational? I think not…..

    Good luck finishing up the move! We moved about 19 months ago. I’m still unpacking…..

    Reply
    1. Mike Schulenberg Post author

      You’re welcome 🙂

      I suppose a fear of nasty stinging things does make a certain amount of sense. For me, the irrational part comes in the way I tend to overreact when one of them expresses too much interest in me. But I suppose we all have something that freaks us out a little.

      Thanks for stopping by!

      Reply
  3. Anne Chaconas

    “If broccoli could fly and sting, I would probably fear it more than bees.” EXCELLENT.

    Reply
  4. Tami Clayton

    I, too, love the chip description. I might even be tempted to try such a thing based on it. Way to go on the advertising. Perhaps that is a new career option for you?

    I also love your efficient ways with socks and pants. Cracked me up! However, I cannot relate to your haiku given my vegetarian ways. No meat can compete with a vegetable. (How’s that for poetry?) 😉

    Reply
    1. Mike Schulenberg Post author

      I think it’s just great 😉

      Yeah, I actually wouldn’t mind cultivating more vegetarian tendencies for a few reasons. But I’ll be honest about something. On an international flight a couple years ago, they served a dinner that included broccoli. At first I eyed it with suspicion. But then I figured…I was there, the broccoli was there…why not eat some of it? Nobody would need to know. So I had some. It didn’t totally suck 😉

      Reply
  5. S.M. Hutchins

    This is the best thing I’ve read all week. The if you need socks, chances are you need pants… might good point there. I, too, fear flying stinging creatures and, while I don’t hate broccoli, I would run if it were flying at me.

    Reply
    1. Mike Schulenberg Post author

      Thanks very much for the compliment. Yeah, flying, stinging broccoli would definitely be flee-worthy. I wonder if I’ve stumbled upon an idea for a new paranormal tale of vegetable horror…

      Reply
  6. Jennifer Lewis Oliver

    “A new paranormal tale of vegetable horror…” – I love it!
    Actually I think I giggled my way through your entire list. I needed the laugh too, so thank you for that. 🙂
    And thanks for nominating me as well!

    Reply
  7. Karen McFarland

    “rules must be followed so that interdimensional beings do not awaken and devour our world”

    Never may that be. You crack me up Mike! You’re hilarious! And I love your efficiency! Who says pants and socks cannot be put in the same drawer? Is there a rule? If there is, you better be following it, lest you be awakened and devoured by interdimensional beings. Scary thought indeed! 🙂

    Reply
    1. Mike Schulenberg Post author

      Thanks very much, Karen 🙂 I’ve never heard of an actual rule regarding the sock drawer, but I think it’s implied by the term “sock drawer.” I’ll have to double-check my human body owner’s manual.

      Reply
  8. Catherine Johnson

    I agree with Laird your chuckle worthy chips comment. Thanks so much it’s my second one today. Your blog is awesome!

    Reply
  9. Brinda Berry (@Brinda_Berry)

    You needed to win the award for the most awesomely random list of personal trivia I’ve ever read. I haven’t heard of that band and now I’m not sure if it’s real due to the fabrication of the pants in the sock drawer fact/lie. 🙂

    Reply
    1. Mike Schulenberg Post author

      Thanks very much, Brinda. Nope, Ozric Tentacles is definitely a real band. And as of this morning, the pants-in-the-sock-drawer scenario is no longer a fabrication. There was room in there 🙂

      Reply
  10. Marianne

    I’m thinking, if you need socks, you need pants, and probably chips too. I would start stocking chips in your sock drawer or pants and socks in your pantry.
    You truly crack me up. I enjoyed reading this immensely.

    Reply
    1. Mike Schulenberg Post author

      Thanks, Marianne…I appreciate that. Hmm…titan chips in the sock drawer along with the pants. You might have discovered something to make a perfect system even more perfect…

      Reply
  11. Elaine Smothers

    Ok, I think I’ve stopped laughing long enough to type a commnt. WEll, maybe not. 😀 LOVED the 7 things about you that nobody knew – until now.

    My broccoli loving, vegetarian self will trade you 3/4 of a bag of Titan Tostitos chipotle chips for your share of the broccoli. The WHOLE bag if the broccoli comes with a side of Ranch Dressing or in Broccoli Cheese Casserole form!

    And thank you so much for the nomination! I’m honored 🙂

    Reply
  12. sheilapierson

    My favorite chips are the Artisan Roasted Garlic and Black Bean – had some tonight actually 🙂 You have such a way with amusing phraseology – I love your blog posts. Thanks so much for thinking of me for the blog love, too!

    Reply
    1. Mike Schulenberg Post author

      Thank you very much 🙂 I wonder what the result would be if the Artisan Roasted Garlic and Black Bean chips were to face the Artisan Fire-Roasted Chipotle chips on the battlefield or in a Thunderdome or something. Two chips enter, one chip leaves…

      And you’re most welcome for the blog love.

      Reply
  13. Lara Schiffbauer

    Thank you for the nomination! You are in good company, as far as the flying insectoid fear goes. My kids run screaming (for real – or as Spencer says “I’m true.”) Not sure where that comes from…

    Reply
    1. Mike Schulenberg Post author

      Now that I’m older, I’m less inclined to run screaming, but bees and wasps still invoke a powerful fear reaction for me. All the killer bee movies set in my home state that came out when I was a kid really didn’t help much.

      Reply
      1. Lara Schiffbauer

        TV seriously influences irrational phobias when watched at a young age. I blame alien/UFO TV shows I watched when I was six for my phobia of aliens. Talk about irrational 🙂

        Reply
  14. rabiagale

    LOL! Thanks for the nomination. I already have one of these beauties, so I will regretfully pass on the opportunity to inflict seven more random facts about me on all of you. 😀

    My irrational fear is of li-li-li— those reptilian things, with the beady eyes and the detachable tails… EW! *shudder*

    Reply
          1. rabiagale

            If it does, you’re dealing with it. Is your Demon Hunter’s outfit back from the drycleaner’s yet? 😉

  15. Kirsten

    As always, I am humbled to be in the company of such funny and entertaining bloggers. You had me laughing the whole way through this hilarious post, as well as through the comments.
    Now– what was I supposed to do? (scrolls back up through plethora of comments generated since my unfashionably late arrival to the party)
    Oh, vegetables. But I love vegetables! And meat. All of them are good to eat. Haiku complete. 🙂

    Thanks for the nomination! I will mention blogs aplenty … or not. But either way, I plan to have fun with it!

    Reply
    1. Mike Schulenberg Post author

      Thanks very much…I’m glad if my humble post brought such enjoyment. Judging by your haiku, it seems you live a balanced existence…like some kind of culinary Walker Between the Worlds 😉

      You’re welcome for the nomination. I’m looking forward to reading your post 🙂

      Reply
  16. Ellen Gregory

    I’m sure Klout will now tell you you’re influential in socks, pants and whatever those chip things are. Honestly! Just goes to show that some people can make anything entertaining 😉
    Thanks for the nomination!
    PS. I rather like broccoli. It’s very good for you, don’t you know?

    Reply
    1. Mike Schulenberg Post author

      Thanks for the compliment, and you’re welcome for the nomination 🙂

      And while broccoli is good for most humans, it is to me what sunlight is to the angst-ridden vampire 😉

      Reply
  17. Judythe Morgan

    Mike, you so deserve a versatile blogger award. Your blogs are always filled with such nifty stuff and witty. Congratulations.
    Glad you’re back on your Texas roots soil. Good luck with your classes.

    Reply

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